# The financial conversation every couple needs

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# The financial conversation every couple needs

Restored from Instagram stories · 19 June 2023

i receive such messages super often. there are so many cases here.

let me go through them one by one.

when it comes to personal finance in India, would recommend you to start with reading the book my monica. it's available in my discord library. download and read the pdf.

have the talk. the most important talk in any mature relationships. finances.

if both are earning and want to manage your finances independently,

1. create a list for monthly expenses which includes restaurant visits, shopping and what not. add 25% of all expenses as a buffer.

2. create one joint account and contribute equally/equal ratio of your earnings (if you both have disproportionate income) there.

problem sorted. you don't worry about their personal spending and vice versa.

agree to mutually decide before buying something for home or for some other stuffs if that's important.

just talk with your personal CAs and ensure the other person is not legally liable for your own personal conscious choices.

you don't worry if they go personally bankrupt or what they buy or not as long as the agreed contribution amount kicks into the joint account every month.

oh and this is requires super maturity. not easy as it looks. has its own set of problems on ratio. agreeing to spend from the joint account and what not.

OR

put all your money in the same pot. each take some money for your own personal expenses (no questions asked)

one of you decide who's better in making sound financial decisions. let them handle it for you.

one of you must be better than the other.

if both of you are equally competent in finances, one of you make the choice. or the least control freak give in to the one who's controlling.

it's sorted. make major financial choices together. agree mutually. or reason why it's better. sorted.

---
now let's discuss the original question.

if she thinks that asking her to be sound in personal financial choices is (controlling), but she does a bad job at it, gets bankrupt and depends on you,

check the following.

1. if you are in a relationship where you guys are not married, DUMP her

if you guys are married,

let's see how much trouble we can get into to sort this out.

people who do erratic financial choices often end up in trouble. huge trouble. people addicted to spending get loans from anywhere and might end up in trouble landing you too in the hot soup.

check there's no outstanding loans. if they are, check the terms.

please consult your lawyers and your accountant/CA. check if you are legally liable to any of the expenses that your partner made and first make sure you are no longer liable.

you need to have the TALK.

if there are things where you are also made liable, hope and pray to all the heavens you worship that your partner atleast agrees that you guys need to handle this together if you guys need to continue as a couple.

the partner needs to handle the reins to you. i know bad spenders. they are addicts. very similar to being addicted to drugs. they need HELP.

sort it out one by one, renegotiate terms with your lenders, get professional financial help to turn your life around.

once it's done, set ground rules about future financial decisions and hope to turn your relationship to good ways again. (hopefully)

if it was me, this would have been my financial talk.

1. idc what you earn and what you do with your money. here's a bunch of papers to sign to reduce my liability and exposure as much as possible and vice versa.

2. all expenses in home is paid off by me. here's an allowance. I'd trust you to spend it. no questions asked. (infact i would trust my spouse to handle all things related to home. don't ask me how and why. my choice in women is elaborated well in my personal website)

if it's actually better, i would consult my spouse before certain decisions such as investments to know their remarks before i decide. (to know more on this, you'd have to read on who I'd wife)

i know my financial decisions in my life are already sorted.

you should make your choices too.

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