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ARE YOU IN THE FRIENDZONE?

"awww, i wish i could find someone just like you"
"you're such a good friend. anyone who gets you would be the luckiest"
"i am just wishing for a man, just like you"

dreaded words that basically begin your deep spiral, death pit towards the penultimate 'friendzone'

so what exactly is this friendzone? let me try to paint a picture that you can try to relate if you can see some truth to where exactly you stand in a relationship, especially as a straight young man with a woman. the first step in understanding a friendzone is figuring out if you're in one. acknowledge if you'd like to get out, or you can wallow in that pit and suffer as long as you like bathing in your own simp saliva pool.

the friendzone: it's nature's way of telling you that your personality is about as attractive as a dumpster fire, but hey, atleast someone's willing to hang around you without a hazmat suit. it's where pre-pubescent dreams of romance go to curl up and die, much like your chances of ever been seen as a more than a sentient trauma dumping toy, a white-noise to do their productive work, an emotional-support animal, occassionally useful houseplant.

you and your extensive collection of immediate reply texts which can go up in world records. your local cuisine includes a steady diet of mixed signals and the bitter after-taste of your own delusions. your national anthem is someone seducing, bewitching you with the top three quotes i wrote in the beginning of the essay. it's not a friend-zone, it's a deep pit and you've dug it deep. only you.

it's the romantic equivalent of the participation trophy. you are there in x/ig or other social medias all day doling our deep psychology lessons, giving out relationship advices and analysing different relationships. people think you're a genius with relationships until they ask you and you reply that you've never even been near the opposite sex which you so 'yearn to possess' to date. you're the textbook definition of a lower-grade beginner incel whose ideas on relationship and everything is based on few psychology books, (sometimes) andrew tate, other red/black pilling incels, and most often reddit.

the friendzone is the place universe stores people who think being nice is a personality and hygiene is optional. welcome to the world of a special group of people. it's reserved for those who mistake basic human interaction for foreplay. other incels will think that's you rizzing up, but the girl whom you think is rizzing up is sizing you up like how a constrictor sizes up its prey.

here, you'll find an impressive collection of unread "good morning" texts, enough shoulder-to-cry-on miles to circle the globe, and a stockpile of movie tickets and dates for two that somehow always end up being for you and your "totally platonic" crush. your local economy runs on a currency of unsolicited facors and the delusion that one day, she'll realize that the perfect guy has been right in front of her all along - probably because you're always right there. it's not a friendzone, it's a blackhole, where your romantic prospects go to die and even light can't escape.

membership is free, but it'll cost you your dignity and any chance of developing an actual personality.

ask yourself once again, are you in the friendzone?