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The dating app that needs you to stay single

Restored from Instagram posts ·

this is bumble's S-1 filing. is it a surprise that a dating app feels that it's users who get matched perfectly, end up dating and getting married - is costing them losses ?

so bumble really feels that the longer it's user stays on the platform, the more it will earn (like any other business)

so, in other words - it's incentivised to ensure that you remain single.

[a distinction worth making: an incentive to retain paying users is not evidence that a company deliberately prevents successful matches. the fictional exchange that follows illustrates the concern; it does not demonstrate how the matching system works.]

so how does that work for a dating app? i learnt how you can game bumble's algo to land high matches a long time ago (no. never ask me to write about it - never will).

the TLDR of the algo. gaming is - a lot of lies.

this is one of the main reasons why you should go old school in dating and ditch the apps. meet new people. interesting ones. if you like, ask them out. if they refuse, the next one, rinse and repeat.

imagine you asking bumble to match with someone you really like.

you fill up all the characteristics. all your likes and dislikes. then it matches you.

you finally get happy. you have been swiping for a long time with no results. and you were forced to pay since bumble said the premium version would give you better results.

all of that hardwork has finally paid off.

a girl has matched with you.

she finally texts you and you text her back

and you get matched with an absolute non developed wet wipe primate who thinks taking time to say yes is the best advice which really works in a relationship.

you are shocked.

you ask the girl, are you out of your mind? what the hell is that? is it even an advice? have you ever listened to the type of nonsense bullshit you are spewing you radio sounding dumbass?

the girl gets angry now. she's mad that you pointed out how stupidly 0 IQ her story sounds.

you also point out to her that a proboscis monkey is laughing at her while flinging it's shit towards her.

the girl is super angry. you are unmatched and she blocks you.

she gets a content to post on social media

she - 1
bumble - 1
you - ZERO. absolute zero.

now the girl should make this as a content.

then she posts a reel like this. you are absolutely shocked. you only told her about how stupid the advice was.

you call out her BTN (big time nadippu).

she has won.

bumble has one. (see the filing)

you are still one sore ass loser who is still miserably single blaming that you were born on 90s as the reason.

get off bumble.

that's one story for you today.

*fin* (really)

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