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when she tells don't believe in hype, hey we all know that. but your partner need not do super expensive things. that's stupid.
but if they can't even be actively involved with you when you are with them but are in their mobile all day just scrolling at things, not actively spending time with you and everything, you're dating a dunce. the days of arranged marriage where the necessity of commitment is less and the husband should do only the providing part is getting over super fast. commitment comes along with being an active participant in a relationship.
it doesn't matter what the relationship is. if you start putting that effort even in a single friendship, chances are that you'd put a lot in a relationship with your partner/spouse. that part of commitment is spending time with them.
valuing and being valued.
most of us in a relationship take the other person for granted. we see them like winning a race. you put so much hard work in winning that race.
once you win, the championship is stored. that's it. you've done it all.
you celebrate and you're photographed with your trophy for 3 months or so. that's it. look at what you were doing when you first started dating.
how much effort did you put into to convince the other person? how much effort did you put in to win them over? are you putting the same efforts now?
why? because you think that they belong to you and they won't leave you? isn't that what is taking them for granted?
start putting efforts into cherishing the relationship. work on things. talk.
bad times exist. it doesn't matter. treat it like a life long marathon. sometimes you have to run slow to conserve energy it's okay. then catch up with the pace. but the most important thing is - you've to keep running.
the minute you stop, the trophy is someone else's.
so when you know that you're putting your efforts in, when you value the other person, you can stop being over possessive or insecure that can hurt the relationship. most of what you could do in being the best person in a relationship starts with focusing on yourself and your own mental health.
the rest is secondary. and when i am talking about relationships, its not just between couples.
its between two people. can be work, can be friends, can be anything.
know the boundaries in each to define that relationship. but use the same rules across each other and you'll end up having great friends, colleagues, acquaintances and a great relationship. only the boundaries and the degree of intimacy changes in each relationship you can have with another living being.
the commitment doesn't change. start working on the commitment part. never listen to bullshit advice which asks you to lower your expectations.
you shouldn't nor should you commit less.
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